a year ago i gifted him a special book i made. a scrapbook of memories compiled in a leather-bound book. it solidified my love for him & helped me remember how far we had come as a couple--where we had started, the days in between & where our love currently stood. it chokes me up to know that i'm here & he's there, especially when it took so long for us to be in one place, sharing a bed & holding hands on a daily basis. sadly, the book is probably packed away in a box, or collecting dust under the bed with other forgotten items.
so, his birthday was last week. i sent a gift in the post, but all i really wanted was to add images & words to the blank pages i left in the back of the book. we wouldn't have had much to add with all this time apart for the last 9 months, but i imagine it could have been a new beginning to our undying love. maybe all i would need to add is big bold, black letters scribing, "honey, i'm coming home."
the truth of it is that my love for him is undying. while we both have faltered & become unsure, usually at different times, i know whole heartedly that my love for him will never die. what i'm trying to say is that our book isn't over. there are pages yet to be written & moments yet to be remembered. the hardest part is that it may very well stay that way, for the rest of our lives, & i'll go on smiling & loving, because that's all i really can do, but a hole will be left in my heart & i'll feel that ache when i look at photos or see a sunset or a butterfly or a guitar or smell honeysuckle in the summertime.
i'll love you always,
bird
